Most of us want our loved ones to gather in our honor when we pass away. A memorial pays tribute to someone’s life and provides comfort for friends and family. Many Christians also see memorials as a chance for people to pray and ask God to look after their loved one in the afterlife. If you’re a Christian, you may want a traditional Christian funeral in a church. Alternatively, you might prefer an informal memorial service that incorporates some religious elements. 

This might also be the case if you’re spiritual and believe in God but don’t regularly attend a church. You could also have both — a church funeral followed by a separate, personalized memorial service. A funeral or memorial is highly personal and it’s important that you feel it authentically honors your life.

What is the traditional outline of a Christian memorial service?

Typically, a Christian memorial service will take place in a church. It may be preceded by a wake — a less formal event where friends and family can gather to share fond memories, eulogies, and prayers. A Christian memorial service outline usually has the following structure:

• An opening statement welcomes attendees to the service
• The pastor leads prayers and hymns (these take place at various points throughout the service)
• The pastor reads selected passages from the Bible
• Friends and/or relatives share words about the person who’s died
• The pastor delivers a closing benediction
• The burial or committal ceremony takes place at a cemetery

There may be slight variations to this outline depending on the denomination. If you’d like a Christian funeral, the pastor at your chosen church will be able to give you more information to help you plan your ceremony.

5 Christian funeral service ideas to personalize your memorial

You can add different elements to your Christian memorial service to give it a personal touch. We recommend that you discuss with your pastor to see what is possible and permitted at your church. Below are some ideas you could incorporate. 

1. Ask people to bring photos

Ask people to bring a photo of you to add to a board at the church or funeral home. This can be a lovely way for people to remember different parts of your life and reminisce about good times spent together.

2. Hand out wildflower seeds to guests

Have wildflower seeds handed out to memorial guests. They can plant these at home or in a special place, then once the flowers have grown, your loved ones will be reminded of you whenever they see them. This is a nice choice for nature lovers.

3. Request a donation to a chosen charity

If there is a cause you’re particularly passionate about or a charity you’re active with, you could ask funeral guests to donate to that charity in your name. Many people like the idea that they can make a final positive impact on the world when they pass away.

4. Release doves or butterflies

Releasing doves or butterflies at the end of the memorial service is a beautiful symbolic gesture. Some see the creatures in flight as a representation of the soul ascending to heaven.

5. Live music

For music lovers, arranging for live music to be played at your funeral is a lovely touch. You could request that they play your favorite song or piece of music to make the ceremony special for your loved ones. 

Find more ideas for personalizing your memorial service on our blog. 

Alternative Christian memorial services

Perhaps you’d like to forgo a church ceremony or have a separate memorial ceremony afterward. Below are some Christian memorial service ideas that work on their own or as an addition to a traditional funeral. They allow you to keep religion as a key part of your memorial while doing something a bit different to celebrate your life.

Open-mic style memorial

This type of memorial invites anyone at the ceremony to come up and say a few words about the person who has passed away. This provides scope to mix more religious elements, such as prayers and bible readings, with fond memories and anecdotes. This may be a good option if you’re a religious person but have friends and relatives who don’t practice Christianity. You could request that certain prayers or sermons are read alongside people’s personal speeches.

Ashes-scattering ceremony

If you choose to be cremated, then you could arrange for your ashes to be scattered during a special memorial service. Your ashes can be scattered anywhere that’s special to you or your family, as long as legally permitted. A dedicated ceremony to scatter your ashes gives your loved ones a chance to say a final goodbye, say a few words, and pray for you to be at peace.

A memorial tree

If you feel most at peace in the natural world, then you might like the idea of the forest as your eternal resting place. You can arrange for your ashes to be placed at the base of a dedicated memorial tree with a commemorative plaque. Your friends and family can gather for a memorial ceremony in the forest and will always have a beautiful place to visit and remember you. Choosing a memorial tree can also help people feel closer to God while helping to protect the natural world. 

Firework display

A firework display can be a lovely memorial service idea, perhaps to follow a more formal Christian memorial service. You could even have your ashes placed into fireworks for the display, to make it even more meaningful for your loved ones.

A home memorial

A memorial held at the family home, in the house or garden, can be a beautiful, intimate way for friends and family to mourn. Perhaps you’re a homebody who likes the idea of friends and family gathering in a special, familiar place. You might also feel that your family would be more comfortable with a home ceremony during this emotionally difficult period.

Gathering at a bar or restaurant

A communal meal or drink is a less formal option and can feel more celebratory. “Breaking bread” together is often seen as an important way for people to bond within the Christian faith, so it can be a fitting part of your Christian memorial. 

Planning your Christian memorial service

As you can see, there are many options for personalizing your Christian memorial service. Planning your memorial in advance gives you the comfort of knowing that you’ll have a memorial that reflects who you were as a person while also reflecting your religious beliefs. For practical advice on organizing your memorial and other important end-of-life tasks, take a look at our end-of-life planning guide.